I love your personality
The importance of compliments in life
15 years in PR made me incredibly cynical about ‘awareness days’. I worked on Kellogg’s National Breakfast Week (the highlight was sticking Gabby Roslin in a wheelbarrow of cornflakes for a photoshoot to illustrate survey results suggesting builders eat the least healthy breakfasts!), National Apprenticeship Week (that one was awesome – we won PR Week Campaign of the Year for that) and trying to piggyback onto many others with dubious connections to the brand we were promoting (enjoyed trying to jump on National Doughnut Day).
This cynicism meant when I got a press release through this week saying National Compliments Day had been created by Thortful there was first an eye roll and then a begrudging U-turn when I realised we all need more compliments in our lives.
And then I also reflected on all the emails I received this week from students and trainees wanting me to help them. Two of the emails were demanding and rude and didn’t lay out a single reason why me helping them would benefit me in any way at all. I wrote back with my PR head on suggesting that if you want something from someone there are two rules:
· What is in it for the person (give them their why)
· Flatter them (make them feel good)
Flattery is a magical tool in life. When it is authentic and genuine it creates a magical connection through which much goodwill is transferred.
One of my favourite workshop sessions to do involves teams creating confidence jars. Athletes do most of the work individually; identifying their own strengths, moments of pride, setbacks they have overcome and difficult things they have achieved but then they write down something they value, respect or positively notice in every other member of the team. I love watching as each athlete hands out their slips of paper and their faces light up as they receive the little pile of compliments back. Who doesn’t want to see the things others think are brilliant about them?
The study that Thortful had run to give a PR hook was asking British people how they felt about compliments. They found:
· 75% of us say we love giving compliments
· 55% of us say we feel awkward receiving one (women more than men)
· 49% would prefer to flatter over social media than in real life
· Personality and intelligence are the most popular subjects to flatter on.
If you feel uncomfortable with the praise they suggest the easiest thing to practice is: ‘Thank you’ and smile. Nothing else is needed. But if that feels tricky compliment the person back or share the compliment highlighting who helped.
So, this weekend, who can you give a compliment too and spread a little moment of warmth?
What to watch
If you are feeling the January cold and want some staying home time may I recommend the Netflix show: Seven Days Out. It covers the build up to some of the world’s biggest live events. They cover huge Dog Shows, NASA launches and a Chanel fashion show but my favourite was the launch of the world’s best restaurant; Eleven Madison Park in New York. It prompted a very interesting discussion in our house about the finer details and whether all those extra details matter. While I usually play down the tiny details in favour of balance and the basics for amateurs this provided an amazing example of when you are trying to be the totally best in the world the basics are automatically in place and it is all about the tiny things – though I still don’t understand why it would be such a heinous crime for a waiter to clear away bread and caviar at the same time!